What are your top two or three favourite questions to ask a new person, and why do they work so well?

A natural way to answer

My favourite is probably 'What's keeping you busy these days?' because it lets people choose what to share. A close second is asking how they know the host — it always gives you a thread to pull on. Both feel warm without being intrusive.

Key phrases to use

• opening up — sharing personal thoughts or feelings more freely“The right question gets people opening up.”
• pull on — follow up on a small detail to keep a conversation developing“She mentioned travel, so I had a thread to pull on.”
• run with it — take an idea or topic and develop it enthusiastically“Give them a topic they love and they'll run with it.”