Two close friends have fallen out and both want you to pick a side. What do you do?

B Natural answer

If two friends put me in that situation, I’d tell them straight away that I won’t pick a side. I don’t think it helps when a middle person becomes part of the conflict. What I would do is listen to each person separately, let them cool down, and then see whether they’re actually upset about the same thing or talking past each other. Sometimes the problem is bigger than the original fight, so I try to set a boundary around my role. I can support both of them, but I can’t be a messenger or a judge. If they’re willing, I’d encourage a real conversation and maybe even help them agree on what they want to say. If they aren’t ready, I’d give them space and check in later. My goal would be to stay fair without pretending that I can solve it for them. In the end, I’d rather preserve both friendships than choose one person and lose the other.

Key phrases in this answer

• pick a side — choose one person over the other“I won’t pick a side just because you’re upset.”
• set a boundary — state clearly what role you will and will not play“I set a boundary and said I could listen, not judge.”
• give them space — let people cool down without pressure“Sometimes the best move is to give them space.”
• stay out of it — avoid getting involved in the conflict“I’d stay out of it until everyone cooled off.”
• hear both sides — listen to each person before deciding anything“I tried to hear both sides before deciding anything.”
• keep things calm — prevent the situation from getting more intense“My job was to keep things calm, not make it worse.”