A friend tells you they're slowly drifting apart from their oldest friend. What would you say to them?

B Natural answer

I'd say they should start by accepting that this happens more often than people admit. Long friendships can change because of work, family, distance, or different interests. If the relationship still matters, I'd encourage them to be direct but gentle instead of pretending nothing is wrong. A short message or honest conversation can clear up a lot. If both people want to stay connected, they may need to put in a little effort to make plans and keep the friendship active. If the reply is distant, that is useful information too, because it tells them where the other person stands. At that point, I'd tell them not to blame themselves automatically. Sometimes a friendship doesn't disappear, it just stops fitting the same way. That can be sad, but it's also part of growing up.

Key phrases in this answer

• be direct but gentle — Say something clearly without sounding harsh.“If you talk to her, be direct but gentle about how you feel.”
• put in a little effort — Spend some energy to keep something going.“If they both care, they need to put in a little effort.”
• useful information too — Something that helps you understand the situation better.“A slow reply can be useful information too.”
• stops fitting the same way — No longer matches your life or needs as before.“Sometimes a friendship stops fitting the same way.”
• give it some time — Wait before reacting or forcing a decision.“Let's give it some time and see how things feel next week.”
• check in once in a while — Contact someone lightly from time to time.“I text my cousin to check in once in a while.”